


there'll be much mistletoeing...

by buckybuck (thestarsthesea)



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky is disgruntled, M/M, Mistletoe!, Tony being a shithead, and all pairings aside from Clint/Bucky are in the background
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 14:01:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9074980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestarsthesea/pseuds/buckybuck
Summary: Tony's kind of a shithead.

  

Well, 'kind of' is honestly an understatement, but, well. It's rude to insult a guy who regularly gives you awesome weapons, and also lets you stay in his house sometimes, completely free of charge.

  

Well, stay in his tower. Whatever.





	

← ★ →

Tony's kind of a shithead.

Well, 'kind of' is honestly an understatement, but, well. It's rude to insult a guy who regularly gives you awesome weapons, and also lets you stay in his house sometimes, completely free of charge.

Well, stay in his tower. Whatever.

It's also pretty rude to insult a guy who your best friend is in love with, so, Bucky takes the high road and tries to refrain.

But Tony makes it so difficult all the damn time. Like now, when he puts fucking mistletoe _all over the goddamn tower_. And not even your regular mistletoe either, oh no, it's Tony Stark Engineered(™) Smart Mistletoe(™).

Which essentially means he created tiny little robot drones that can sprout fake sprigs of mistletoe at any time, and they can also a) move uninhibited, and b) learn to adapt to be the worlds most _annoying_ Christmas tradition.

Oh, and they've learned, alright, because they _hate_ Bucky. They follow him around everywhere. He's had to kiss everyone. Steve (weird, but not the first time), Thor ( _very_ enthusiastic and _good_ ), the Spider Kid (awkward as hell), Nat (kind of terrifying), Pepper (sweet, she blushed), Deadpool, for some reason (never. again.), Coulson (kind of nice), Bruce (chaste, but oddly swoon-worthy), Sam (horrible, they both died a little), and on one memorable occasion that Bucky made sure to make as horrifying as possible, Tony.

Bucky's pretty sure Tony never wanted the drones to catch them under the mistletoe together. He's actually willing to bet his actual irreplaceable left arm that Tony specifically programmed that in, but the bots were smart enough to work around it and make it happen anyway. 

Later that day the little guys disappeared for an hour or so before popping back up again, and since then Bucky's never been caught under one with Tony again.

But _another_ person he's not been caught with is Clint, who Bucky would really like to be found under a mistletoe drone with. Like, really bad. Clint's the _only_ person Bucky would like to kiss, under _any_ circumstances.

Bucky's tried everything he could think of to get Clint and himself under a mistletoe bot at the same time. He tried sticking to Clint like glue, but the damn things just never came around; he gave Peter twenty bucks to do the same thing while Bucky watched and waited, it worked, but as soon as Bucky got a few feet away it sucked the mistletoe back in and sped off; he tried literally bursting through a vent to land _on top of Clint_ while the mistletoe was out, but the stupid thing flew off like its little life depended on it.

Bucky is now one-hundred percent certain that Tony programmed his stupid mistletoe bots to never work while he and Clint are under it together. Probably for the sole purpose of fucking with Bucky.

And Bucky's a little pissed off about it.

So, in response to Tony's childish actions, Bucky's decided to take his toys away. Over the past week he's been slowly taking out the little drones, mostly by throwing knives at them, so he can stuff them in a box deep in the closet of the room he keeps at the tower. A room Tony refuses to go in because he and Clint have fucked pretty much everywhere they could, just to keep Tony out, honestly.

He's not sure how many of those little robots there were to begin with, but Bucky has eleven of them in his closet, and he's noticed that they're a lot more scarce than they used to be.

Tony hasn't seemed to notice, he's too busy being outrageously amused any time people have to awkwardly kiss each other under one of his drones. Bucky kind of wants to teach him a lesson, maybe do a lot more than a friendly peck the next time he catches Steve under one of those things. But then he'd have to make out with Steve, which would kind of be like making out with his brother, and not even _he_ dislikes Tony that much.

"Barnes," Bucky looks up from his triple decker sandwich (Clint bet him ten bucks and a blow job that he couldn't take a whole bite, Bucky's gonna prove him wrong, very happily), to find Tony glaring at him from the kitchen doorway. "have you been shooting down my kissing robots?"

Bucky raises his eyebrows, slapping the final slice of bread on top of his sandwich and smashing it down. "You been hearin' errant gun shots, Stark?"

Tony squints at him, probably trying to look menacing, but really only succeeding in looking like he can't see. "No, but that doesn't mean shit with you."

Smirking, Bucky picks up his sandwich and a glass of water, moving passed Tony to leave the kitchen. "I can assure you, I haven't been shooting your evil mistletoe bots."

"I don't believe you. Half of them are gone, and you're mad they won't let you kiss Legolas under them." Bucky tries not to laugh as Tony struggles to keep up with his long strides. "It's the only thing that makes sense."

As he enters the living room, Tony hot on his heels, he says, "Are you sure it's not anyone else in this tower who're tired of having to kiss their coworkers?"

Clint's head whips around to face where they linger in the doorway, his wide eyes peering at them from over the couch. "Are we talking about the mistletoe bots? Because I have definitely shot one, maybe two, of those things."

Bucky moves into the room, sitting down next to Clint and setting his sandwich and water on the coffee table. He had no idea Clint's shot any of those things down, but he can't say he's mad about it, good revenge is revenge shared. Though Clint's probably not doing it for the same reason, either way, he doesn't care.

Tony flails in behind him, slapping a hand to his chest in suitable Tony Stark melodrama. "Legolas! I'm honestly offended! I can't believe I'm saying this, but I expected _more_ from you."

Clint ignores him to study the sandwich Bucky's made, squinting at it like he does one of his arrows when he's making sure the fletchings are perfect. He turns the plate around in a complete circle, pokes the bread, then apparently decides it's an adequate triple decker sandwich, accepting it with a nod. It's only after that he glances up at Tony to answer. "They kept trying to get me to kiss Nat. Don’t' get me wrong, I love her, but if I had to kiss her one more time I think she might have traded the kiss for a stab."

Giving up on the dramatics Tony sprawls gracelessly into a chair adjacent to the couch. "You know, there are thousands of men, and women, who would kill for a chance at kissing the Black Widow."

"Yes, and there are thousands of men, and a few women, I would kill to keep Clint from kissing me again." Natasha declares, wandering into the room and delicately lowering herself into the armchair opposite Tony's. She spares the barest eyebrow raise to the gigantic sandwich sat on the table, but wisely decides to stay out of it.

"Hey! I'm a great kisser!" Clint exclaims, affronted.

Natasha rolls her eyes. "You're decent."

Clint's jaw falls open, he takes a deep breath, clearly gearing up to defend himself. Bucky interrupts him. " _I_ like kissin' you, if that means anything."

Clint softens a little before preening happily, and Bucky sees Nat roll her eyes from his peripheral. Clint looks like he's ready to say something smug, but he's interrupted again, but by Tony this time.

"I do _not_ want to know if Robin Hood is a good kisser! I wanna know who's been killing my bots!"

Bucky's not sure if he wants to keep denying, on one hand it's fun to jerk Tony around, but on the other he really wants to prove Clint wrong so he can win the bet and get his ten bucks and blow job.

But the decision is taken out of his hands when Nat waves an arm and says, "We've all been taking them down, Tony. Minus Steve, because is hopeless, and he catches you under them more than anyone else." Clint snorts, Bucky gags a little, Tony looks smug. "But I imagine Barnes is the worst culprit."

"I knew it!" Bucky rolls his eyes as Tony shoots from his chair, throwing his arms in the air like he won some sort of victory.

Bucky leans back into the couch cushions, projecting careless indifference, just because it'll get under Tony's skin, and he won't even know why. "Well, if you'd let me kiss Clint under them I wouldn't have shot ten of 'em down, Stark."

Tony scoffs. "Just because you never catch your boyfriend under one doesn't mean I'm keeping them from doing it on purpose."

Bucky laughs. "Don't give me that bullshit, Stark, you're not exactly subtle-"

"You can't prove anything-"

"You're clearly bein' an ass just to piss me off-"

"Believe it or not, but the world doesn't revolve around you, Terminator-"

"You are such a piece of work, I don't get what Ste-"

"That's it." Natasha's voice is barely above her normal soft tone, but he and Tony both stop short at the slight strain in the words.

All three of them watch as Nat steps onto the seat of her chair, leaps gracefully into the air, and snatches one of the mistletoe bots right out of its meandering path across the room. She lands lightly on the floor, then stalks to where Tony is standing, pushing him into the chair, and thrusting the distressed and beeping bot into his hands. "Fix this so it produces the mistletoe over their heads so they can kiss."

Tony stares at her in shock, but quickly collects himself, scowling instead. "I am _not_ messing with my tech just because Barnes is throwing a hissy fit."

Natasha gives him a flat look, one that usually precedes pain on a nearby person. It's pretty good at getting people to fold, and Tony's no different. " _Fine._ "

"And you," She turns the same look on Bucky, he could hold his own against her, but it's still pretty effective. He won't let her know that though, so he just meets her stare head-on. "stop breaking Stark's dumb toys."

Tony let's out an offended noise, but doesn't look up from where he's fiddling with the frantically beeping ball in his hand. Bucky ignores him, staring Natasha down, she looks back, not backing off. Eventually Bucky concedes with a small nod. "If he promises to stop provoking me in such stupid ways."

"Not gonna happen," Tony tosses the suddenly quiet bot in the air, where it hovers for a second, before gently floating over to linger between Bucky and Clint's heads, vibrant artificial mistletoe on display. "but I'll at least let you kiss your boyfriend."

Bucky looks over to Clint, getting caught in the blue of his eyes. It's not that he and Clint haven't kissed since Tony released the stupid mistletoe drones, but right now it feels a bit like it anyway. Clint blinks, and all at once the only thing Bucky wants to do is kiss him under the damn mistletoe. "Deal." 

Clint smiles, small and sweet, and Bucky leans in to taste it.

"Aaaand I'm out." Bucky barely hears him leave, doesn't hear Natasha go at all. But, well, he has much better things to focus on, like the shape of Clint's lips, the rough stubble around his mouth.

The little robot above their heads beeps happily, and as Bucky grins into the kiss, he can't help but agree with it.

← ★ →

**Author's Note:**

> Heyoooo! Long time, no post, eh?  
> Here's a dumb little thing I started writing yesterday (which was Christmas, Santa brought me writing motivation for the holiday!), and just finished up today! It was actually supposed to be posted on Christmas but I started writing and just kept going and going, and by the time I was done it was way past midnight lol
> 
> This was actually supposed to be part of a longer fic, where I took a few holiday prompts to compile together, but well, a lack of motivation killed that dream, so rip :(  
> Maybe next year!
> 
> Business:  
> Title Credit: The Most Wonderful Time of the Year by Andy Williams  
> Disclaimer: the only Marvel property I own is a copy of the Avengers on dvd, and a few Iron Man wall art things, also an Avengers cup... and an Iron Man helmet bucket.. also an Iron Man pen... OH! and Iron Man and Thor shirts! I think that might be it.... maybe... I have more than I thought oops! (btw can you tell who my fave might be?)
> 
> Anyway, this was NOT beta'd this time! I didn't wanna bother anyone so close to the holidays! So unfortunately all there was was me reading through it five or so times, I hope there are no glaring errors...
> 
> Come visit me on my [tumblr](http://buckybuck.tumblr.com)! I dunno how good I'd be, but if you wanted to drop a prompt in my inbox I'd be happy to try and write a little drabble or something for you! Or if you just wanna drop in and say hi, I'm a pretty nice person :)
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!  
> <333


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